The past can never be undone

December 2015 · 3 minute read

So last week’s plan of getting shit done didn’t quite go according to plan… In some ways, I’m disappointed in myself but in other ways I probably needed to just let my hair down. And boy did I let my hair down…

I also learned a valuable lesson about how naive I still am in life. I kind already knew that I was, but you know, self-confirmation of an innate flaw isn’t always (probably ever) a welcome epiphany. I guess when you think about it though you could look at it in two ways, maybe I’m naive or maybe I’m not and I just have a tendency to starting walking down dark paths until all the lights are gone and only way to move is to keep going forward and just see where that path takes you.

It is always difficult looking back though to try and understand the mechanisms of decisions you’ve made in the past. How one choice led to another and at which point you could have changed your mind or what would have changed if your decision had just been different. Hindsight’s also ²⁰⁄₂₀ so realistically there’s no way you could have really done something other than what you chose to do at the time. And ultimately, what has been done can never be undone so there’s no real sense in dwelling on it. All we can really do is enjoy the moment, own our actions and see what new exciting path awaits our future.

I guess it’s coming to that time of year when it’s really easy to get distracted with everything going on. Work is busier because Xmas is around the corner, Xmas parties and friends birthdays are on just about every weekend, it’s nearly summer and I probably need to look good if I’m going to lie on the beach at all (even just for the one sunny day of summer offered up by Wellington’s wonderful weather). I suppose these are all just excuses, but they’re valid ones at least…

I think for now, I’ve had my fun and got a much-needed stress release out of my system and I’ve freed up some time with the intention of being more productive so I’d really better use it before it gets backed up again with new obligations. Back to the drawing board now of trying to re-balance my dinner plate, maybe I’ll scale right back to just working on one project per week. Even if those projects alternate from one week to the next at least I can still narrow my focus. I just really have to stop procrastinating!

I guess it also doesn’t help that my weight training is going well because that makes me want to go to the gym more often, but again to be realistic, every time I go I spend too long there and end up too tired to be productive. There’s honestly no way to win. How can I create more hours in a week? I know the more time I put into coding and development, the faster I’ll get and the more productive I’ll be. I think some new music might help… And I’ve been meaning to get another computer screen too… I don’t know… Organised Selena seems to have gone on an early holiday and she needs to come back. NOW. Haha, hopefully, she comes back with some productivity… and a tan.